The Long and Winding Road…

Things sure are going great in the Church Park Restoration Project, with no issues to report! No problems, no disagreements, and everything is perfect! You can now go about your day!

However, I can share some juicy details about all the success we’re having. Some clever person- I think it was Cathy- suggested that, since we’re crafting the perfect neighbourhood, we should also create a vastly new road system, one that fits the principles of our green…principles.

That sounded good to everyone, so we made Cathy employee of the day, and once the crowning ceremony was completed, we got to work contacting the best green travel plan consultant people we could find. Crucially, we wanted someone who could make our roads green and environmentally cozy…but also, we needed flair. We could have straight roads, of course, but that wouldn’t be any fun! Our residents need fun!

So we set about designing some fun roads, which can then be passed on to the green travel consultant for completion. We spent a whole day on this project, with everyone coming up with their own version of what Church Park’s roads should look like. I quite liked my own version, of course; it was a tacit depiction of joy erupting from the human soul, like what you feel when your first child is born, but in the form of roads. Andrew got pretty close with his unique traffic management system in the shapes of several critically-endangered animals, as a constant reminder that humans have a responsibility to be kind. However, Inara managed to take the grand prize, with her traffic management plan that was inspired by man’s continual search for meaning in a cold universe, a search that will eventually lead us to the black hole at the centre of our galaxy, wherein lies an ancient alien monolith that will give us the self-determination to transmute our bodies into gas, in which form we may travel the universe at the speed of thought and be free of all sorrow.

It was really hard to describe to the traffic engineer consultant over the phone, but I think they got the gist. Well done Inara! You’ve created something lovely for Church Park residents to drive upon.

-Lake