Drain Dance

My sister’s got this weird thing with her house at the moment. Actually, it’s more of a weird thing with her, in relation to the house. Basically, she’s begun to fancy herself as a ‘house whisper’ of sorts. She believes that she’s repaired a number of maintenance issues through the power of soothing vocal tones and intentional movement alone.

According to her, it’s worked on everything from a malfunctioning air conditioner to blocked drains. Northcote householders, can you speak to this? Is it something people are doing, or is it just Clara going off on one of her whimsical tangents? I mean, it being a ‘thing’ wouldn’t necessarily make it less weird in my view, but it would at least explain how she came to have the idea that it would work. She’s always been pretty impressionable, Clara, and surprisingly unimaginative for someone who’d amongst this kind of thing.

I’ve tried asking her what the theoretic basis of it is – like, are their ghosts or spirits in the pipes that she’s conversing with? Perhaps it’s more akin to reiki? Or maybe it’s a quantum field manifestation situation? But she just smiles conspiratorially, and tells me not to worry about it. She sure knows how to get me interested in something I normally wouldn’t give two flops about, I’ll give her that.

I guess the proof will be in the pudding. That’s why I’m going to invite Clara around to work on my drainage system, and compare it to the results of a high pressure water jet. Drain clearing, Melbourne residents, is not something that can successfully be done by halves, so I’m pretty convinced that Clara’s method won’t work. She probably won’t change her tune as a result, but I’ll be satisfied that reality is, in fact, working as per the usual laws of physics.

Then again, if her thing works, then I’ll save myself a bundle on drain repairs, and probably get on board with her technique myself.