It wasn’t me, and they can’t prove otherwise. I, Fernando the Relentless, did not break the front door. I think it was Robin Collinson, because he is not a real vampire. He is an energy vampire, which means he can walk in the sunlight. Therefore he has no reason for a front door. It is so obvious!
It definitely was not Gizmo, as he is my familiar. Why would my familiar want to hurt me by bringing the sunlight into my home? It just does not make sense. Although he will be the one arranging for door replacement near Melbourne. He can pay for it and talk to the human door fixer man. He is my familiar, and I do not want to go anywhere near that broken door.
I know that Nadia and Lazarus did not break the door, as they are also vampires. Why would they want to break a door and put their safety at risk? It does not make sense. Just like their idea to replace the front door with a sliding door. Are you crazy, Lazarus and Nadia? You are going to get us seriously injured, or worse. Sliding doors are made of glass, and sunlight travels through glass. That is so dangerous for a house of vampires!
Gizmo had better not get sliding doors installation. Perhaps I should tell him that in case he assumes it would be fine. I wouldn’t put it past Nadia and Lazarus to hypnotise him into paying the door fixer to put in a sliding door. They can be so stubborn.
Lazarus is the worst when it comes to being stubborn. He once said that he would run away and start a new life as a bartender working in Pennsylvania because it sounds like Transylvania. We thought he would be gone for a day or two, but he spent three months there! He went by Jackson Day and sold regular human drinks. When he came back, I pretended I hadn’t even noticed he was gone.