Home

Wear More Jumpers

As my mother used to tell me, “Andrew, wear more jumpers.” I never listened, but we lived in Vietnam and jumpers aren’t necessary for about 95% of the year. Maybe more than that, actually. Now I’m in Melbourne, and several years later I still don’t think I’ve learned that lesson. It’s SUPPOSED to be summer, …

Wear More JumpersRead More »

New Fridge, Auntie?

Last time we were there she’d had a walk-in fridge installed. That sounds a little odd, considering there are only two of them, but Aunt Tilda said that finding a space for it was a bit of a challenge. Ah, yep. More of a challenge means it takes up more time. It’s really quite swish …

New Fridge, Auntie?Read More »

Glass Alternatives

Okay, bit of a setback. As it turns out, you can’t actually turn one entire wall of your home into a massive pane of glass. They don’t make panes that big, and if they did they’d be impossible to transport. Plus, it would be dangerous, apparently – “structurally-unsound to the highest degree” was the phrase …

Glass AlternativesRead More »

Wallpaper Options

All that secret elevator controlled by a clock business turned out to be overkill. Could’ve just got some really convincing wallpaper printed and all my problems could’ve been over. So that’s annoying, all that money spent on security, but I guess now I know. And also I’m a billionaire, so…it’s not like I don’t have …

Wallpaper OptionsRead More »