I swear, every single time we visit Aunt Tilda, she’s transformed a part of her house. At one point I seriously wondered why, and the answer came to me in two seconds: of course she does. She married a rich guy who won’t let her have a job, so Aunt Tilda just sits around the house bored all day every single day. A load of money, boredom and a flair for custom kitchen design, and you’ve got a perfect recipe for the house that’s never quite complete. That, and I guess when the kitchen renovation people are over, she has someone to talk to. The only company she gets is the dog, and it’s massive, not very affectionate and only good for being a guide dog.Last time we were there she’d had a walk-in fridge installed. That sounds a little odd, considering there are only two of them, but Aunt Tilda said that finding a space for it was a bit of a challenge. Ah, yep. More of a challenge means it takes up more time. It’s really quite swish as well, with all the latest fridge technologies and an electronic cataloguing system. Never again will you forget about that yoghurt down the back of the fridge that goes out of date and you don’t discover it for six months. If you’re the type of person who has this much time- and Aunt Tilda is- then you can enter each item individually as you put it in the fridge. The smart system tells you where best to store it, and it gives you notifications for when things are about to go off, all in a pleasant computer voice. It also tells you the time and bids you good morning.
Currently, Aunt Tilda is trying to find a system that makes meal recommendations based on what you’ve stored in the fridge. Really, she could run one of those companies that does kitchen makeovers in Melbourne, or be their head designer or something. The world could be her oyster. Instead, she’s renovating the lounge every six months.